Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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