Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
