So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
