Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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