Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
