This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
