Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
