1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize