You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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