it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
