she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
