Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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