Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
