No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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