he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
