I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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