My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Mom said you looked used
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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