what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
