you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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