is your mom at the bar?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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