Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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