the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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