Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
