Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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