ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
