Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize