You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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