the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
