Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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