You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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