No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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