I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
