You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
