I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize