I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
