If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
