shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
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All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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