it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
