No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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