dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
