didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize