"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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