Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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