I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm always down for nudity.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
