It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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