ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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