Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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