and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
