You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
