KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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