i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
