I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
