If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
