And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
