Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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