hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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