I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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