do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
